so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
