Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize