I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
North Korea, Best Korea!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
