Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
