I think my vagina is haunted
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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