i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
