Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
