I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
