Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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