You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
