Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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