omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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