He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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