I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
