In the future we'll all be gay
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
