I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize