I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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