Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
