walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
