quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
