his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
