SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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