have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
