I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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