he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
