I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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