I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
