It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
