This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
