His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
