just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
