That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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