you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We are two peas in an std pod
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
