Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
