i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
