He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
