YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
