I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
