Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
