I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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