its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
