i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
