I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
