I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
