a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
