i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
