I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
