xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
