her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
the raccoons are back...
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