normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
