Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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