Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
