the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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