We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
