they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
