Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
pray to the hookup gods
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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