Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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