Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
