It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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