its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
