I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
