this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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