from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
