batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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