Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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