party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We got so high we made milksteak
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
