Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
