So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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