so that wasnt chicken after all
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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