He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
