i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
the liver wants what the liver wants
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
