I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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