My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize