It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
