I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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