im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize