I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
